Write from the Heart.....Why Me?

I got a comment from Kay on my website today.....

Kay Wallace has left you a comment:  I have "known" you for only a few
weeks, but I can't help wondering...five years ago, would you have even dreamed
you would be where you are today? Your drive and enthusiasm is inspiring, your
creativity boundless, and your confidence assuring. My mother began her artful
journey in her 50's. I began my artful journey almost into my 60's. I regret
having lost so much time, but so appreciate your sharing, your teaching, and,
most of all, your encouragement!

 

I hope she does not mind me publically posting it here but it really got me thinking.  The answer to your question Kay is......I had no idea where I would be from five years ago.  And the last five years have been life changing for me.  I went through changes in my personal life and my career that I never anticipated.  I read an article from Martha Beck called "Off the Beating Path" Oprah Magazine 2013 (thanks to Martha Richardson for sending me that) and realize those changes and hard times are called the "Rumble Strips".  (thanks for Cat, Martha and Liz ♥) 

There have been times in the past five years I have looked upward and said "Why me?"  Why are you throwing so much at me?  It took some time for me to stop and really evaluate what was important to me in my life.  The "Why Me?" was overwhelming at times and I will admit that. 

As I stopped and took a few leaps in life there were so many who were there who blew little whispers of air to keep my wings going.  Namely a group who meets every Monday for Mixed Media Mondays.  A group of artists, women, men who I had no idea would tune in.  There have also been so many great friends, fellow artists (too many to name) who were with me the whole time.  I had no idea five years ago that I would be here.   Where is here...right where I am meant to be. 

I just got back from a great trip to CHA Winter doing what I love and seeing so many of those friends (new and old) that I love.  I am a mom who is present to as much as she possibly can be. I am a daughter, aunt, cousin, niece to an awesome family who I love like no other.  And I have great friends who laugh with me, clink with me and love me for who I am. 

Five years ago did I anticipate this......Heck No.  Now the questions comes up to me all the time "Why me?".  Why does one choose to spend their Monday night with me?  Why do so many choose to share their art and lives with me, which at times they tell me about the "Rumble Strips" they are going through.  Why Me?  Why is it that yesterday I received this beautiful gift from Mary Friedrichson with a note that says "For all the courage you have given me!  So glad we met!  Sending blessings for a wonderful Near Year!"  Mary has no idea what she has brought to my life along with all the others.  That was no chance meeting in Target. 

It isn't about the gift (although I LOVE IT and it is so perfect) but that she took the time to get that, wrap it, mail it and thought of me.  Why me? 

And I got an email that from Andy saying "And once again I'm so thankful that I found you on Ustream because I used to think art journaling etc. was just so messy and a bunch of gom people threw on a page.  I watch other people and get ideas but.......(not to earn brownie points) you are the best!  Seriously!  The way you teach, your friendliness, your "trueness" (ok, so that's not a word but....it fit
 lol) and the fact that you're open with us and make us all comfortable."  

I have yet to even respond to this email because I think "Why me?".  But she gets me.......for who I am.  

I think Why me? because this group, those who tune in every Monday, my friends/family (too many to name) have given me more than they will ever know.  When I was going through the "Rumble Strips" in life they were the ones who blew a gentle breeze under my wings and said keep going.  I did not know the direction five years ago.  I still don't but boy am I loving my own path.  Not the path others think I should be on, or don't think I can do but what feels right to me.  There were so many friends who had no idea the impact they have had on my path.

Yes I am a mom who needs to keep a house, a home, and give to my kids all I can.  I have found that on this path if you truly do what you love the money will be there.  Chasing it and the ego you think you aspire to have only leads to emptiness. 

So in a nutshell Kay to answer your question.............Nope. I had no idea.  I had no idea the art that was within me until I decided to let it out AND SHARE IT.  I had no idea there would be one in the audience who cared let along so many.........and I still think "Why Me?".

To quote that article "If you stop everything you think you should be doing, surrender to what's actually happening, reverse your assumptions, and steer toward the glimmers of light that appear as your old beliefs shatter, the small miracles will turn into big ones.  Eventually, your luck will seem as incredible and mysterious as your bad.  Once more you'll be asking, 'Did I do something to deserve this?' Only this time, the questions will arise from a sense of overwhelming gratitude, not overwhelming pain".

So with that I leave to think about how you need to stop and rethink your path.  Sometimes life just makes you do it.  Sometimes you just have to put on the brakes yourself...on to the next five years. 

 Thank You.......

"Little miracles will being to happen when you turn toward your right life.  Eventually, your good l uck will seem incredible" ~Martha Beck

Comments

[Jacqueline]

Why you?...Because you have a fun , true personality without the drama that people are drawn to.
You like to take chances that most people wont attempt. You really care about people and your family. You love to share your art, which influences people to try it themselves. So Cheers..that's "why." :)

[Kay Wallace]

I am delighted your sad "Why me's?" have turned into glad "Why me's?" Without knowing the details of your path to today, I am grateful you chose the path that led me to you! I guess that might...ok IS...a bit selfish, but honest! At 69, I am still growing, both as a person and as an artist. You have encouraged me in both! That's WHY, my friend...that's WHY!

[Paula Munroe]

I think "why you" is because you have a way of encouraging people to not only discover and develop their own art but also to share it with others. I spent most of my life throwing away everything I drew so no one would see it. Thanks to you not only do I no longer throw anything away I have given many pieces of my works as gifts and even sold one. That's because you inspire us. Thank you.

[Martha Richardson]

So glad that article hit the spot for you...you share so much of yourself with others...words, encouragement! You are one special person!

[Lori]

I have always felt that EVERYTHING in life happens for a reason and makes us who we are today. Does having three beautiful children change you? Yes. Do successful and failed relationships and business adventures change you? Absolutely. But even though some of those paths are bumpy and hard, they do work in us and make us the person we are today. You wouldn't be who I know and love if you hadn't been through those happy and sad times. I would not be who I was if I had missed out on my three beautiful kids, my marriage, my dad's death, or being betrayed by close friends. Would I rather skip some of those? Sure, but then I wouldn't be who I am today. Just like you. I thank God for you Tracy. You inspire me to be a better me every day. Thank you.

[Tracy Weinzapfel]

So very well put Lori ♥

[Tracy Weinzapfel]

Thank you!

[Tracy Weinzapfel]

I am glad you asked too Kay AND I am glad I am on this path...it was meant for me!

[Tracy Weinzapfel]

Thanks my friend! You know you are included in that list of good friends I can always count on and clink with!

[Eliza]

I have only been with you this short time and I trully believe the path that we choose for ourselves is the right one, yes we get tied up in the mundane of life but you have to stop and play, breathe, have fun and laugh, you have given this to me in the short time I have been on the group and I thank you too. I now am taking turesday arvos off to play and be tuned in, this is my art protest and I will play.... LOL and even talk if I can get chat to work next time LOL

I have enjoyed this post thank you for sharing, everything you said I have been trying to teach a friend who is in the Rumble Strips of her life, she to will also move on, hey I have her journalling that is a start, now onto paint and colour.....

Eliza

[Jacqueline]

;)

[Tracy Weinzapfel]

Thank you Eliza for your comment. So great when you share something and you are not alone ♥.

[angie]

i am so glad your "why me's?" have led me here!! i can't say thanks enough for all that you've inspired in me!!

:)

[cindi]

so beautifully written!!
:)

[Tracy Weinzapfel]

From my heart...the best to write from ♥

[Tracy Weinzapfel]

♥............so great that it comes back ten-fold!

[Andy]

Tracy,
You are awesome! Such a blessing and I mean all that I have said! :-) Hugs!
Andy

[Tracy Weinzapfel]

♥........